Thursday, February 12, 2009

Vybz Kartel's Letter to the Editor (The Gleaner-Jamaica)

The Editor, Sir:

This is a response to an article written by Esther Tyson and supported by the rest of the social hypocrites who claim Rampin' Shop is musical poison.

Ms Tyson, the "devastating impact on the psyche of Jamaican children" is not caused by 'daggerin' songs but rather by socio-economic conditions which leave children without free education, single-parent homes, (or shacks), the lack of social infrastructure in ghetto communities, unemployed and disenfranchised young men with no basic skills who are caught up in the 'gun culture' cultivated by our politicians in the 1960s-'70s, all faults of the governments (PNP and JLP).

Scribes and Pharisees

When Vybz Kartel did Money Fi Spen' (the intro being 'We nah run dung gun/We nah run dung war), it went to number one on the charts. No accolades were given. When I did Emergency, no accolades were given; but when the same audience that embraced all those 'reality' songs embraced Rampin shop' for what it is - music - it's a problem to you and yours, the Scribes and Pharisees of our time.

What have any of you done to enrich the culture and the coffers of Jamaican music, especially dancehall music, that makes you think you have the right to criticise and chastise a (sub)culture about which you clearly know nothing?

Rampin' Shop is just as easily accessible to the public as are porn sites on the internet via laptop or phone; as accessible as 'R'-rated movies or carnival revellers 'daggerin' uptown in broad daytime on our local and cable television stations.

Why is the song so big?

Incidentally, has anyone ever wondered why this song is so big? It's because everybody loves it, and that's the whole bottom and top line. contrary to what is said, there are a lot of self-righteous, undercover Jekyll and Hyde characters around.

Ms Tyson, the "decent, well-thinking citizens of Jamaica" as you put it, love Rampin' Shop; only a few hypocrites are against it, at least publicly .

I encourage you to use your obviously lengthy spare time to write about things that actually affect the nation like, I dunno, probably a light-bulb scandal, etc., and stop making much ado about nothing.

I am, etc.,


EDITOR'S NOTE: Vybz Kartel has

confirmed sending this letter to The Gleaner.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Pastor John Crow Tricks Anansi (Pa John Tricks Anansi)

Once up on a time Bra Anansi mek a law that no body in the country should chat one anada. If dem chat people dem go drop down dead. So one day hungry bite him and him nuh know what to do so him tek up him pickax and drill an went up on a high stony hill. While he was dere beating PING! PING! PING! PING! Bra Takuma come around and see him. Now everybody know sey Bra Takuma faass bad so him say:
“Good Mawnin, Bra Nansi.”

Bra Anansi say:
“Good Mawnin, Bra Takuma, I jus ere a see what I can get for de coming year.”

So Bra Takuma pass and im go roun de corna. Afta him gawn roun de corna im say:
“Massa Gawd see an know say mi nah chat Bra Nansi. But a what im can get off a dat dere rock fe de comin year?”

Braps, Bra Takuma drop down dead, but Bra Anansi did expect that so him come along de road an him see Bra Takuma stiff dead and him eat him off.

Greedy Anansi nuh do nothing more than go back pon him rock and start to dig again. TING CHING CHING CHING CHING! So Bra Tiga passing by and him say:
“Good Morning Brother Anansi, how are you on this fine morning” (Say it loud and proper with a British accent if you can^_^)

“Good Mawnin, Bra Tiga, I jus ere a see what I can get for de coming year.”

“Very well Anansi, Very well.”

An him gone. So Bra Tiga pass and im go roun de corna. Afta him gawn roun de corna im say to himself:

“You know, I am not the type to meddle in peoples’ affairs, but. What the devil could Anansi get off that measly rock for the coming year?”

Braps, Bra Tiga drop down dead, and Bra Anansi did expect that so him come along de road an him see Bra Tiga stiff dead and him eat him off jus de same.

Bra Anansi set up pon him rock again but before him could even start knocking nuh Bra Tumble Bug dat come roun pon him. So Bra Bug say:
“Mawnin Bra Nansi.”

Anansi say:
“Mawnin Bra Bug”

Den im say:
“Mi jus ere a see what mi can get off dis rock fe de coming year.”

Bug say:
“Awright Bra Nansi, mi gawn.”

So said so done as Bra Tumble Bug go roun de corner him dat say:
“Massa Gawd see an know mi nah chat Bra Nansi business. But! Wha im can get off a dat dere rock-stone fe de comin year?”

Buff, him drop down dead. An a Bra Anansi dat is to come along and eat him up too. Again craving Anansi gone back pon de same rock gone wait fi somebody else fi come along. But Pa John (John Crow) a fly round and him see what Bra Anansi was doing so him ketch the rake (saw what Anansi was up to). Anyway Pa John say to himself well mi a go see what Anansi getting off a dah rock de so. So him fly down wit him walking stick and slam it against the rock.
BOW! BOW! BOW! (Loudly)

“Mawnin Bra Nansi.”

“Mawnin Pa John.”

But before Bra Anansi could say anything else is Pa John dat (speaking very sternly and quickly):
“I jus seein what I can get off here fe de comin year.”

Pa John:
“Anyway Bra Nansi I goin down to de barber to get a trim, so I will see yu.”

An Pa John fly off and gawn around de corna, an Bra Anansi look up an say to himself:
“Masha Gawd shee an know shee mi no talk people business, but. Wha Pa John ave pon fi im ead fi trim off?”

An Bra Anansi drop down an dead. Pa John did expect it. Im neva talk so him turn back and see Bra Anansi stiff dead so im eat im up an all de other people dat Anansi did et before.

Jack Mandora mi nuh choose none.